Baseball, Public Conversations, and Yes/No Answer Session

This past Monday afternoon I was fortunate enough to take the afternoon off from work and head over to Fenway Park to catch a Sox game with the one and only Juan Bobo.   

Two things about the game: 1.) Yes, they took a dump on the field (Darnell McDonald did not play nice with the sun in his eyes), taking an old L against the O-R-I-O-L-E-S (magic, magic)! and 2.)Right field roof box is kinda nice up there.  You're high up and a much different view than most other seats (Plus, I was able to go the bathroom and back in-between innings, dare you to try that is other parts of Fenway).   AND YES, this is the second time in September that I've ended up with some type sun glasses tan/burn, the raccoon look is so IN right now (rabies-free since '93!).  Also, if anyone ever finds the awesome Orioles magic video made by Kevin Millar and co. a few years ago, ship it!

Anyways, the people behind us, a father/son duo, added some peculiar commentary (aka made Tim McCarver their bitch) throughout the game that I could not help but listen to. Not to be nosey but I couldn't ignore them completely when some of their conversations led me to question whether or not they had seen a baseball game before.  They butchered some of player's names pretty good (Jeremy "Guthreer" (either lack of reading or enunciation skills?), I can spell out how they pronounced Markakis), read aloud the stats on the video screen as if it were an excruciatingly difficult encyclopedia entries, and also said some pretty silly things that anyone under the age of 10 realizes that it makes you sound like an idiot (for example the 16 year old son suggested that David Ortiz should spend his offseason practicing hitting baseballs everyday, but in way that made it sound like he was the first to think of this offseason workout plan, aka practice).  Now I don't mean to condescend and I'm definitely not doing them justice to how entertaining they were, but I appreciated that these guys gave me quite a few laughs and kept me entertained while the Sox lowered trough and let it rip (as I mentioned, right on the field). 

Now, I'm no professor of social etiquette and probably would try to mind my own beeswax.  Overhearing conversations in public happen all the time, but what about social places where the forced intimacy rules out avoidance, for example, a crowded subway or adjoining seats at the ballpark.  Just saying, there are some places where people have to know that other people can't help but eavesdrop.

Other Yes or No Answers for the week:

·         Yes, if you cook 3.5 packages of bacon your apartment will smell like bacon for at least a week (thank you Iron Chef style cooking party in which everyone was a winner except for pigs and vegetarians)
·          No, I am not a robot, the doctor could find blood veins this time, unlike the unsuccessful wisdom teeth debauchery of '08
·         Yes, I got a chocolate covered frog, suck it harry potter! (thanks B!)
·         No, I didn't break the soda machine (yet) Jesse
·         Yes, I'm partly/mostly/definitely responsible for the plot to steal a Milk Stout glass from a bar, but only just cuz its so close to MILK STEAK!
·         Unfortunately No, Googling murderers does not make you a detective even though you're searching for them
·         Yes, I will blow your mind this weekend, coldstone-style NYC Bagel shop
·         And No, I will not give up breakfast meats, ever!

Now, I'm off to do laundry, because apparently "I didn't know you couldn't do that" is not an valid rebuttal to not wear pants in public...

Reading my Calendar and a History Lesson

My calendar here tells me that fall (autumn for all you stuck-up prissy pants) officially begins next week, September 23rd according to what I can read.  Now, despite a sweaty commute (yum!) this morning (for which I thank the red line for pumping some type of humidity machine into the subway system) you'd think I'd be ready for change in weather, right?  Well, yes, I am (this isn't the god damn weather blog!), but that doesn't mean you can trust my reading skills with a calendar.

Not too fast though! My calendar still deserves the big middle finger.  Why you ask? Because who needs to know random holidays, like that today is Declaration of Independence Day in Mexico?  Should I not schedule a big meeting today or should I bring tacos for lunch (ok, that was a little racist, sorry) beacuse Spain got kicked out of Mexico?  But then tomorrow is actually Mexican Independence Day (not just a declaration, for realsies)!  Sounds like Mexico is doing a little freedom pregaming today for their big day tomorrow!  Imagine if July 3rd was pre-Independence Day for America (extra holiday that kinda already exists but isn't on the calendar)?

Anyways, my calendar tells me all types of holidays and crap that just distracts me from more important things (like the rest of the internet!).  So to celebrate the last technical week of summer and prove to my calendar I know more than it does, I drew upon my history to degree and used my reliable companion, the wikipedia machine, to give you:


This (next few days)/Week in History, According to Nick (with help from wikipedia)!

• On September 16, 1776, during the Revolutionary War, in the Battle of Harlem Heights, the Red Coats drove the hipsters out of Harlem and into Brooklyn, where they had been in hiding until Jackie Robinson freed them in 1947.
• On September 17, 1809, Sweden and Russia made peace, ending the Finnish War. Why anyone would fight over Finland is beyond me...
• Also on September 17, but in 480 BC, the documentary 300 was filmed at Thermopylae.  Unfortunately, Gerard Butler has yet to share his time machine with the rest of us.
• On September 18, 1838, the Anti-Corn Law League was established in England.  Corn racism?
• On September 19, 1959, Nikita Khrushchev was barred from visiting Disneyland.   SUCK IT USSR, no splash mountain for you! 
• On September 20, 1848, the American Association for the Advancement of Science was created by 87 nerds.
• On September 21, 1776, part of New York City was burned after being occupied by the Red Coats.  Unfortunately, the hipsters were not burned.
• On September 22, 1692, the last people were executed for witchcraft in British North American colonies.  Apparently they crushed, hung, and drowned some people they thought were witches (waterboarding would've worked better) aka murder.  Nonetheless, according to my research they failed to drown Harry Potter, good job witch hunters!

Random other things:

• It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia is on tonight, try not to pee yourself?
• rumor has it a soda machine has been purchased in our apartment, hopefully it will last longer than one week (protein soda is not/maybe a good idea!)
• I go to NYC in a week? This is where I "do" NYC and by "do" I mean try not to embarrass myself at Citi Field and other fine establishments
• Wake Forest, #25 university in the country (according to US News?)
• Bear News: Apparently people in Montana/Rocky Mountains are not getting along with the local Grizzlies, and need to learn to share?  There won't be much to share if the bears ever get guns...

Friday Morning Thoughts...

Here's some Friday morning thoughts before the weekend fever sweeps through:

• Silly Experiment of the week: Last night I put a few watermelon sour patch kids in a glass of bud light.  I don't know if people have tried this before, and maybe some people's reactions (stupid people) might be "EW!", but after the candy dissolved a tad, it was kinda awesome.  Gave a yellow/greenish hue to the bud light with nice watermelon flavor that wasn't all that terrible.  Watermelon Bud Light anyone?  They'll prolly have something like this by next summer but my version will be better.  If you like diabetes and cheap beer give it a shot!
• Sports Talk: I love that the NFL is back, but what I would give to able to watch the games without having to worry about who has what player for fantasy football every god dang play.  Last night Green Bay's passing attack was pretty awesome to watch, but before I could appreciate that, I was informed that Mr. Aaron Rodgers was single handily kicking the shit out of my fantasy team for the week.  I enjoy fantasy football (and prolly talk about it WAY too much, sorry) but for big games, I'd rather just be able to watch and not worry about stats (thank you playoffs).
• Boo: roommates having nightmares about your crazy landlady
• Horay: It's Always Sunny, for giving me ideas that I shouldn't be allowed to have... sorry roommates if find poison in relish jar, mayo in skull & cross bones jar, and shampoo in the mayo jar...
• This week in Bear News:  There is still a fugitive grizzly bear on the run in Yellowstone National Park (someone call Tommy Lee Jones!).  He wanted as a suspect in the straight up murder of a Michigan man back in August.  Apparently 3 Bears have already been brought in for questioning, but the glove didn't fit (DNA testing?), so they were released.
• Nick's Stupid and Spoiling Movie Review of the Week: This week I watched Unforgiven (warning: I said "spoiling" in the title stupid), the 1992 Oscar Best-Picture Winner, Clint Eastwood-Western.  While I may have been interrupted by a temper-tirade barge-in by the landlady, I don't think I missed much because the real action is relegated to short bursts, for example, no one gets shot till the second half of the movie, although there's some knife work at the beginning (disappointing lack of karate tho).  Obviously the best part is when Clint Eastwood falls off the sobriety wagon and kills pretty much EVERYONE which was immediately followed by an abrupt ending due to the lack of anyone else for Clint to shoot (there was more closure in the recent Paul Walker masterpiece, Fast Five).  A well-made movie, a 96% on rotten tomatoes, but not my favorite western, but that's okay.  I'll give the first half the movie a rating of stupid, while the second half I'll give a rating of drinking game worthy (drink every time some gets killeded).
• I misssssss you....: Nintendo Wii, the apartment isn't the same without it

Happy Weekend!

P.S.- Watch for the Wine Pirate!

Prologue: Hello Internet

Apparently they just let anyone use the internet these days, you can write just about anything?  Well, almost anything.  Hell, according to the scientific guide known as Wikipedia, there are 156 million public blogs as of February 2011 (but mostly I feel bad for the poor intern that had to count...), that's too many! I think I've probably read about 6 of those, most of which I'm entertained by, but evidently I'm no blog connoisseur.  Nevertheless, I'll join the inter-web crowd, and give the whole blog game a shot, flying by the seat of my pants, teaching myself how this works as I go.  Here's my prologue post...

First, the title of blog.  If you know me, then it fits, but if not, you're prolly thinking, WTF? and have subsequently not read any of this, or you laughed, in which case, thank you?  But if you made it this far, bear with me.  My first choice for blog names, Indian in the Bunker, while not already taken (shocking, just shocking, who would've thought), came off as racist and since I have been yelling the phrase incoherently since middle school, its best to leave that one behind (on to more grown-up, sophisticated things).  Which brings me to yelling, and lets be honest, I enjoy making noise at times, its a hobby in which I dabble.  So much so that I've been told to use my inside voice (bam, there's my first link!) from time to time (now Craig...).  So inside voice, which of course I have trouble using when told to (also apparently I can stomp around like an elephant?) fits nicely along with my fondness for bears (no! not this kind, but the actual animal). Boom, blog title!

Since I don't know what I'm doing, I turned to my trusted guide, the Wikipedia machine, which told me that blogs often serve to provide news, commentary, or serve as diary of sorts.  My best guess of what I'll use the blog for:

1. News.  I have news sources already (cnn, espn, channel-K, etc...), so I'm unlikely to break news in that larger, global sense, but maybe a few tid-bits here and there relevant to the world I live in.  For example, today I have pasta salad for lunch and I have the first pick in my fantasy football draft with some college friends tonight.  Big stuff, right?  I bet at least half of you prolly twittered the hell out of that last part though. But in all our best interests, I'll try to keep any "news" interesting and awesome.
2. Diary.  Everyone knows you keep your diary at home under your pillow, so unless you plan on sneaking into my room to read it while I'm not there (and no, you won't not find stuff like "today I met a pretty boy in the park..."), then the diary function will prolly be used sparingly.  This isn't a tabloid, stupid.
3. Commentary.  This I can do.  I like comments, commenting, and commentacious remarks (it's my party, can make up words if I want).  I also like lists, timelines, numberings, bullet points (with actual bullets), and charts.  I don't often share my opinion on everything but this will be a nice chance to embarrass myself to all those willing to put up it.  (I like commentary so much that I comment on my own commentary, but couldn't wait for publishing to put them in the comments section)   
4. Topics.  Literally, whatever I want.  This is the part I will enjoy.  Events, beer, current events (right now!), food, sports, friends, work (nope), things I know before Channel-K does, places I go or won't go depending on what I had for breakfast, friends that have babies, movies, letters we get from the cat hospital, and many other topics that will surely interest everyone.  I'll do my best to stick to interesting, relevant stuff that I would want to read about.

If I wasn't so supposed to have a blog, then we're gonna find out real quick, I hope I don't lose privileges.

Finally, I will try to keep the spelling, grammar, and topics comprehensible, and the run-on sentences longer and longer as we go (boo punctuation).  Also, we'll see how much trouble I get myself into, hopefully none (sorry in advance internet police).    I would encourage comments and harsh, degrading criticism, more points for slang and spontaneous "NERD" postings.

 

NERD!!!

(not nerd, but just an excuse for a hipster puppy picture- http://hipsterpuppies.tumblr.com/)

Anyways, let's see how this goes.

PS- Most of this post was indeed rambling and rather slow and pointless, I agree (but you really enjoyed it).  Never having blogged before, I needed to get that out of my system.  But this was the prologue, I aiming for 68% non-retarded posts overall, next time there will be an actual topic other than the blog itself.  So, once again, the bear ate my inside voice, so you'll have to put up with this crap instead...