- News- Uh, ya, this week in bear news. Is it always real news or even remotely coherent. Yes?
- Diary- I believe I stated that I wouldn't make this an exact copy of the diary I keep at home, under my pillow, so success!
- Commentary- I've been known to comment from time to time.
- Topics- This is the wheelhouse of the blog!
See 4 for 4. Boom, Mission Accomplished! I took this chance to look back at some of the emotions this blog has evoked in me:
- Surprise?-Maybe
- Disappointment?-Indubitably!
- Bewilderment?-Yup, but only cuz it sounds like your in the wild and the bears are drawn to it
- Hostility?-Always (see Bad Cat articles)
- Despair?-Only if you can't read
- Vengeance?-of course silly, but don't talk about me behind my back!
- Warmheartedness?-absolutely not
- Lust?-sure, lust for big words!
Are those all emotions? I think so, but who cares. So some features have been a success, some not so much. Looking back at all my hockey predictions from October, I missed a few (didn't call the Canucks bitches or didn't see the Senators winning more than 20 games) and nailed a few (Bruins and Rangers smashing people or Blue Jackets are the worst), but I'll wait and see how many playoff teams I get right when the time comes. Are there some features I want to try again?... Yes (hello this day in history via Wikipedia/my interpretations)! Other ideas: What's the methodology of making smoothies when the power goes out? Do alcoholic-milkshakes really scare 80% and give them the willys? How far can I run when it's below 35 degrees and I'm wearing all black (murdered out)? These issues, a bunch of lists, and much more to come! Who knows, maybe I'll recruit some other writers to contribute (cough, RoyerOlympicCorrespondendant, cough) So as for the state of the union of irrelevant internet blogs, that is based heavily on bears and other non-relatable items, I will go with: I awkwardly acknowledge the existence of dinosaurs, but will not make eye contact or pay for your dinner Alex Trebek!
Other Things:
This weekend I plan to go skiing for the second time ever. I'm pretty awesome on the slopes, so watch out X-games/olympics, I'll see you in 45 years. I'm looking to go off some sweet jumps, whether deliberate or not, maybe brush up my pizza-ing, and hopefully avoid being run off the mountain by 7 year-olds. From experience I've found opening my eyes and aiming for everything but trees to be a good strategy for taking on the mountains, but those chair lifts can be nerve racking, with all the people waiting around, you definitely don't want to be the guy face planting as your supposed to be getting on the chair/ski-lift.
The Bruins made it to the All-Star break, although a bit tired after an up and down stretch of games. After murdering the league for most of November and December, the Bruins look good heading forward (I will ignore Tim Thomas's political stances mainly because I don't care!). Their big bad reputation seems to be growing, meaning more suspensions and other teams baiting them into douchebaggery, but I'm excited to see how well this team keep their composure and just hammer people like I know they can!
This Week in Bear News!: An endangered Louisiana Black Bear named Kris from Tennessee, who was recently released from a recovery center, was murdered by a man in Mississippi. The motive for murdering an endangered bear fresh out of rehab is unclear to investigators, but clear to me are several key things:
- States Rights! This bear was crossing too many state lines
- People in Mississippi like shooting things, bears include in the categories of things
- The bear was listed at 200 lbs., I'm assuming that's under weight, but that leads to another question, is there a trend of anorexic bear murders?
- Out of all the endangered species, which one do you think hunters would like to hunt the most? Probably not an skinny bear that just vagabonds around the south, right?
