Friday, October 12, 2012

City Life, Food, Dog Jobs, and, of course, Bear News

It's getting chilly out but that means fall fashion is back!!! These cardigans are so blah this year, but the plaid is really hot for the cool weather...(record stopping noise)... nope! (o jeeze, just threw fashion blog everywhere) Boo!!! This isn't a fashion blog!  Fall is back but that doesn't mean we have to be terrible.  October is nature's time to make a god dang mess all over the place while people admire it and call it pretty.  I hope to do the same in October, make a mess and impress people with my beauty.  Taking nature's lead, the NHL lockout continues to make a mess of something awesome, as the Bruins opener was scheduled for last night, but whomp-whomp, I fear the B's may not get to play this season.  On the Halloween's coming up fast, hope everyone's got their costumes ready, and I hope to impress myself by avoiding diabetes again this year.


City Life Update: It's been a little over a month since I packed up and moved out of the old creaky house in Davis Square, where Juan, Channel K, Big Brown and I lived for over a year, often above an quirky, moody old lady with a temper.  I've left the hipsters and the Red Line for the Back Bay, where the people watching jumps to the big time and I can actually refer to distances in real city blocks.  I've worked in the city for a couple years, now I don't leave it at night, but I can hardly complain, I walk through park to and from work and don't have an elderly landlord who demands constant impromptu renovation projects on a house that ultimately should be knocked down in a few years.  B and I have ended up on a quiet street, albeit extremely close to some busy spots (shopping is crazy there, I've been enjoying playing a game on the weekends where you try to figure out what language the people shopping or walking around are speaking is actually a challenge), in an apartment carved out of an 100+ year old house, that I'm sure belonged to some rich dude back in 1890.  Somehow we ended up with a unit on the second floor that was, without a doubt, formally said rich dude's library.  I'm talking rich mahogany walls, leather bound books, fire place, large french windows (I don't actually know what French windows are but ours are too big and I may fall out by accident) big ass door with old school latch and key... I feel like I should be smoking a pipe and checking on how my oil futures out west are fairing instead of eating a burrito and admiring my burgeoning African knife collection (consisting of all 2 of them).



Suck it Juan!
Food: In our new place, B has taken an organized approach to dinner, planning out a menu for the coming week nights and organizing a shopping list.  Its a smart system and it has other perks.  For example, I can call up Juan and be like "Hey Juan, I'm having Chicken Pot Pie 2 weeks from now, suck it!" (but then Juan might cry, so you have to remember to tell him to suck it nicely).  The system is working so far, but I can't expect B to make dinner every night, I'm gonna roll up my sleeves and do my part, which is make primarily breakfast-meat-based foods.  I've worked on my cooking, non-microwave variety mind you, and was responsible for making chicken piccata (that was edible, win!) and have since attended meatball making school (The Rossi School for Wayward Meatball-ers).  My cooking is alright, I have my own mess making smock for the kitchen, but I have a tendency to go rogue, off the recipe.  Let's just say I enjoy twisting/ruining a plain recipe by adding random stuff I find in the kitchen, sometimes it works, sometimes not so much.  Past examples: this asparagus looks plain, lets add some cherry coke for flavor! or These vegetable and  chicken look good, but wouldn't it be better with bacon and whiskey poured on it? or let me heat up this butter in my pants! or lets just put this candy bar in the waffle maker!  Safe to say, when in doubt, add cheese or meat... or both.
As a blog challenge I will accept cooking suggestions to attempt, please submit them and I'll take pictures and let you know how it went (I retain the right to go rogue and improve upon your silly ideas)........ I'll give a month before I'm on cooking probation....


Random List time: Jobs I could do with Dogs- Almost every morning, the beagle and basset hound in our neighborhood likes to make sure everyone isn't sleeping late and is getting to work on time by howling and baying his ass off.  So besides alarm clock, what other jobs could a dog and I do together?

  • Detective! Acquire a dog, quit my job, and solve mysteries for a living, non of that Scooby Doo shit, we're talking real mysteries!


  •  Another potential vocation I could get into is dog swim instructor...
  • Maybe start a cab business in the city carting around drunk people?
  • Could look in to the dog IT field?
  • And if all else fails...


This Week in Bear News
A black bear in California is suspected of stealing a iPad from a campground last month, park rangers urge people to back away from bears slowly (especially if they're playing angry birds).  A fisherman identified the the bear as the same suspect who came back later to take a Tupperware container full of food.

An advocacy group in New York released a video of what polar bears would be like if they drank Coca-Cola, like they do the soft drink's ads, in effort to limit the size of soft drinks in the city.  Apparently bears would supposedly loose their teeth and take diabetes medicine, but I suspect bears that drink coke would more likely resemble this:
Diabetes makes bears lazy!
A bee hive farm in Washington was ransacked by an unidentified bear this past week.  The suspect is alleged to have helped itself to a great deal of honey, leaving more than $1,000 worth of damage to fencing, the bees, and their hives.  The suspect can be identified by the many bee stings that surely were inflicted and did little to discredit the stereotype of bears loving honey.

Finally, a black bear was murdered in New Jersey Wednesday night, when it was shot with a bow and arrow.  The two year old bear was shot and got a few blocks away before it died on a neighbor's front lawn.  Be careful bow hunters of New Jersey, I'm not sure a blood feud with a clan of bears is all that desirable...
This bear is definitely plotting... watch out Jersey Bow Hunters!

I'll leave you with these other pictures of bears courtesy of the internet machine: