FC Greenstorm as Dog Breeds

While watching the Westminster dog show the other night, which a pekingese won (wtf?), I was given the idea of comparing people to dog breeds. There's the old comparing how people look to dogs or what kind of dogs people themselves have or like, but while those may be a factor, I lean more towards the personality/behavior matching approach.  Now, what better way to offend my friends then assign them dog breeds, I hope to start a rousing debate and hurt many feelings, hopefully not all my own... I encourage comments and suggestions if my research proves inaccurate or utterly offensive.  So here, in no particular order are a few of my friends as dog breeds (if I didn't do you, I'll try to do add on or do more later, but this is scientific process and takes time)...

Jon-Afghan Hound : Too easy! Skinny and fast like a greyhound, but also described as cat-like when lounging around the house.  While the Afghan Hound was originally bred to hunt swift game like gazelle and shit in rugged terrain, Jon was bred to become the greatest big buck hunter around (have you seen the leader board of the our wii big buck hunter?).  And while he may not have the long pretty coat of the Afghan Hound, when he grows it out, Jon's can have a mighty old Jew-fro!  All dogs tend to fall in-love with Jon, so why wouldn't everyone fall in love with the regal Afghan Hound?


Laura- Labrador Retriever: I had a hard time with Laura, knowing she can do work (taxes, stupid!), but also likes the finer things in life, while being able to rock kick-ass day-drinking shoes for adventures!  Matching her multi-faceted lifestyle, in the end I had to revert to her beau at home, Ginny the Lab.  At heart, Ginny is a fashionista, loves w-a-l-k-s, is a connoisseur of all fine European deli meats, and adores Jon.   What more need I explain?



Kevin- Chihuahua Parson Russel Terrier: I forget if Kevin himself mentioned chihuahua, but my research turned up another small breed for this non-dog associating person.  This high energy dog will often find itself in the middle of an ordeal or mischief, sounds about right for Kevin who's always up for an adventure, to wander or explore.  Surely with frequent grooming this guy could resemble my Supercuts-regular roommate.  Both have active personalities and have dubious abilities to interact with cats and rodents, but are suprisingly good with horses???  (Note-Kevin, before you get excited, Wishbone was a Jack Russell Terrier, so no, this breed cannot read...)



Jesse- Boxer: I was very close to going with an Scottish Deerhound , but the personality of a Boxer is a well-suited match for for my tree house companion. Here's a list of words describing the Boxer: "playful, exuberant, inquisitive, attentive, demonstrative, devoted and outgoing."  Boxer's like to be active and run around, so does Jesse.  I think its a good match, but I could see an arguement for more scraggly looking dogs with goatees and beards, closer to the fedora-totting personality of Mr. Plate.





Becca- Pembroke Welsh Corgi: This one might be skewed, as I had my mind made up going into the process the B would a corgi.  I decided on the Pembroke Welsh type because they are small and very cute.  Short legs, good with children, fun-loving, amiable (to dog treats/people treats).  Sounds like a match to me!  Plus look at those ears, they can hear everything!


Royer- Petit Basset Griffon Vendeen: ROYER!!! I found you a best friend!  The PBGV likes to be merry, is inquisitive, always on the lookout for excitement and fun, and loves to explore.  If that doesn't sound like Royer, then I give up.  I couldn't find anything about the PBGV's scrapbooking abilities, but for a fact-finding mission we have a winner.  Altough the breed is French, and Royer is from Delaware, the PBGV surely appeals to Royer's global sensibilities and would be great in an art class or two...



Bobby- Bernese Mountain Dog- My research led me to Akita, but Robert Walter could be anything from a Pit Bull to Irish Wolfhound.  Bernese Mountain Dog is my choice because I can see Robert Walter pulling a wagon like I've seen this breed do.  Hardworking or easygoing, it don't matter.  The most fitting description I read was "calm family companion (that is, after it leaves its adolescent stage)".  I'm guessing that Bob can probably come up with a better example for himself, but at least my guess has him as a pretty dog.


Trisha- German Shepard: Sorry, I did zero research on this one.  T-Dawg definitely has to be a German Shepard in my opinion, with Charles (in-Charge) and Nika (half cold blooded killer) at home, there's just no argument against this breed coming to mind.  Again, as a dog professional, she may have a better idea, but somehow I think she may agree.  Plus I just wanted another excuse to post the picture of Charlie wearing a fedora!










Cory- German Shepard/Bearnese Mountain Dog Mix: Umm, if I have to explain this to you, you obviously don't know where babies come from!  I found this picture of a mix but it can't hold up against actual pictures of Cory!

Matty- German Shorthaired Pointer- My research turned up this awesome breed for Matty.  I don't have an clear explanation of how I got here, but I know that Matty likes this breed.  An athletic hunting dog, it corresponds well to Matty's abilities in the big buck hunter arena.  Also described as possibly too boisterous for small children, which for some reason resonated with Matty in my head (yelling at children, T-squad swim class maybe?)?





Samara- Goldendoodle-  One of the few suggestions I received before hand that stuck.  Smart like a poodle, friendly like a golden retriever, boom done! I know the hair colors don't match but who cares!  As much as I wanted to make Samara a Samoyed, that would be just silly!  Also a tough decision to not go with the dog who dresses up like David Wright outside Citi Field.




Craig- Boston Terrier: I'm just getting lazy now, but how can Craig not be a Boston Terrier?  In my mind he has become synonymous with the breed through Dolly.  "Well-mannered indoors but saucy and playful whenever the chance arises", all business until it's time to play.  Boston Terriers snore and wheeze, and Craig had his share of sinus issues a while back.  Either way, I'm not bothering to go against this one. 




Alex- Miniature Pinscher Schnauzer:  My research brought me to the Miniature Schnauzer, although Alex now has a Min Pin, TOBIAS!  I went away from the min pin and towards schnauzer due to more fitting descriptions such as "well-mannered house dog that also enjoys being in the middle of activities" and it enjoys children, that sounds more like Alex than "perpetual motion machine" and "scrappy with other dogs and may chase small animals".  I'm willing to hear an arguement to the contrary but until I see Alex chasing squrriels and downing caffeine pills, I will go with schnauzer.  Or could go Chow Chow?



Me- Redbone Coonhound:  I will explain in quotes I found-

• "A true American (breed)"
• "aren't clingy or in your face"
• "can become bored with formal training"
• "once the nose hits a scent they are oblivious to much else"

Solves mysteries with its nose, has red hair, hunts raccoon, tolerant of children, and could kick the shit out of a coyote.  That's me... right?

Some other quick hitters for you:

Ian- Portuguese Water Dog

Emwoods- Beagle

Anna- Komondor

Now I'm tired from my exhaustive research to do anymore, but let me know what you think.