Do they let gingers on the PGA Tour? Probably not, and for good reason (sunburns, ability to speak to snakes, lack of depth perception/care of the well being of others, etc.), but that hasn't stopped me from endangering the men, women and children that haphazardly inhabit the surroundings of local golf courses where errant tee-shots and deadly slices from the rough pose constant threats to their safety (I know all you riders of the 45 bus at 6am last Friday enjoyed my beautiful my tee shot on the first hole, which nearly smashed into your bus and bounced along side for a wonderful break from the monotony of your early morning commute). As a relative golf novice, in my recent outings I've found an achievable goal to be not losing all your balls and refrain from throwing/hurling your clubs (sadly even if just for fun its still frowned upon). Having played a round of 9 holes last week on the William J. Devine course across the street from the Franklin Park Zoo (yes, that's the zoo that gorilla broke out of a few years back), I can proudly say that I lost only 3 balls and somehow managed to actually make par on the par 4 3rd hole (albeit, with a delay due to the sprinklers turning on, which definitely caused me to miss my birdie putt...). So with my recent successes in mind, here's my 5 funny videos of other peoples golf swings, that are way awesomer/awkward than mine!
1.) Charles Barkley- I have to start with the best, Sir Charles, the round mound of rebound! He could prolly beat me real good in a round of golf, but his swing is just silly awesome! Plus, its a montage!
2.) Darren Mills?- For the record, when I yell, "give 'em the funny one!", this is what I'm referring to.
3.) Jon Daly- I feel like this video, and golfer in particular, needs very little explanation. The dude hammers golf balls for a living and enjoys beer, cigarettes, and women, what more need I say?
4.) This Guy- I guess this some guy (as in "look at this fucking guy"). Surprisingly he hit it pretty good, but I think he flopped a bit and shouldn't get the foul call...
5.) Happy Gilmore- Actually it's Padraig Harrington doing the Happy Gilmore swing all in the name of science, but you get the idea, greatest golf swing of the 90's!
HR DERBY CHALLENGE:
This past Monday evening was Major League Baseball's Home Run Derby. It has become an annual tradition of sorts for my friends and I to convene and watch these grown men try to bash the balls. For those of you who missed it, this year's derby took place in Kansas City, various highlights/low-points (you can decide which is which) included Prince Fielder winning, MLB wallowing in all the Gatorade promotional money, Chris Berman wearing a snazzy tie, Adam Jones helping John Kruk take down a platter of locally produced ribs, all of Kansas City booing the shit out of Robinson Cano, and Hall of Fame former Royal, George Brett, showcasing an incredible knack for professionalism at the broadcast table. Yet all this was trumped by the annual challenge (fantasy/drinking/eating game) played by my friends and I while watching, this year we used a hybrid of beer and freeze pops. The rules are simple, everyone selects/assigned one of the 8 participants in the derby. When your guy is up, its your turn. If he hits a home run, you tell someone to drink or eat a freeze pop. If he swings and miss, you drink/eat a freeze pop (if you're hitter was Robinson Cano, like Philpott, and hit zero homers, you finish your beer). Gold ball (last ball of round) counts as double. Various socials include kids in the outfield falling/diving, something funny happening, home run hits something funny, etc., you get the idea. This year I ended up doing the Freeze Pop Challenge during one of Prince Fielders turns, which consisted of eating two whole freeze pops as fast as possible (I wasn't that fast, disappointing indeed, but I'm willing to give it another go). A fun way to spend a Monday night in July, you should prolly try it next year.
Now, I present a list of "This weeks I'll holla's at you":
- Good luck and safe travels to my brother, Matt, who is once again off to Ethiopia. This time I expect you to return with some type of wildlife for me to play with, preferably a monkey.
- I'm happy to report that my god daughter is close to, if not already, taking steps (f*** baby steps, Cory stomps around!), as well as being the cutest and most accomplished baby swimmer since her father, Robert Walter, was back in the spring of 1989. Also Cory resides over the "2nd district court of judging the shit out of Olympic Correspondent Royer", where she's stern but fair, and you'll always know when it's time to play/yell in restaurants.
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| Cory and Walter |
- Preliminary gutting stages of the yet to be named boat project I've been working on (as part of a team on with Walter and OCR, as well as others) are near completion, with hopes of getting the boat into an actual boat yard soon. With some luck, we'll be out of the high seas come 2014...
- I would like to take the opportunity to wish Olympic Correspondent Royer a happy birthday today. In the Olympic Countdown to London we are 2 weeks away from the opening ceremonies, so you know OCR is having a grand ole time these days! Today's Olympic betting line is the number of times Royer will stay home from work, social outings, and other appointments to watch the Olympics: +/- 9.5.
- During the holiday week ('MERICA!), Kevin and I (but mostly Kevin) decided helped out our landlady Marlene with some yard work one evening, hilarity ensued. We found some random stuff buried in weeds and vines in the backyard we never use, including a vintage bike with a locked back wheel, a boogie board, and dog leash line. Less than 2 months left in Davis, but when else are we gonna live behind a library above an old woman?
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| Marlene and Kevin, I took this picture, told her we were sending it Juan who was on vacation. |
This Week in Bear News: While this is neither news or from this week specifically, my travels on the interwebs led me across this warning sign for bears, enjoy.
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