Holiday Analytics, Thoughts, and Grades

Holiday Analytics-This morning a complaint was lodged in my apartment, that I heard as "the holiday season is almost over!" (alleged actual complaint was "we only have 2 full weekends before Christmas" but lets pretend it was what I heard)  Lets analyze this complaint:
What qualifies as the holiday season?

• To be broad, holidays count for all of December, 31 days.
• If we're being generous we can count the week or so after Thanksgiving as well, as this is generally when it becomes acceptable to put up Christmas lights or holiday decorations, so in 2012 that would be an additional 8 days, so 39 days total
• Sticking to the ABC Family 25 days of Christmas, would leave us with, shocker, 25 days, but this ignores Boxing Day and New Years, so I'm throwing this one out, shove it ABC Family!
• With Hanukkah starting on the 8th, Hanukkah to New Years is 24 days this year, hitting the 3 big holidays, not including Thanksgiving which is separate, giving a number similar to ABC Family's suggestion, but then again I don't consider Toy Story a Christmas movie so suck it.  
• For the sake of moving on with our lives, lets just consider a range roughly a month long that will be the holidays, okay?

So we have a range between 25-39 days, 3.5-5.5 weeks of holiday season.  The earliest the holiday season would start would have been November 23rd, Black Friday, almost 2 weeks ago, 13 days.  Its been almost a whole week in December, so minimum 6 days.  So by our range, we are somewhere between 24%-33% into the holiday season judging by when you start and how long you consider it.  If you're Jewish, you might be 0% into the holidays.

Therefore, using my analysis, the complaint lodged this morning is false! Boom! .... except I think it was lodged in different sense, as in we don't have any free time to wear Christmas Sweaters and go caroling, "why haven't we watched the Santa Clause yet?", where is all our time scheduled, and so on....

Other Holiday Thoughts:

• I know what you're concerned about, but I'm alright! I actually haven't been waterboarded with Christmas movies yet.  (Alright, waterboard may be a bit extreme, but if ABC Family thinks it can pass off Harry Potter as a Christmas movie, then they better show Air Bud, because dogs that play basketball is what the holidays are all about!)  B actually has it mapped out pretty well, leading up to Christmas Vacation on Christmas Eve (watching it early is a big no-no and results in shame brought upon your entire family).
• Last week I spent some time going through our apartment lease to make sure there was no clause that would forbid us from getting a Christmas Tree.  Apparently bringing a tree into your living room constitutes a real fire hazard.  Nonetheless, I didn't find anything, so now we have a tree that B named Herbert.  Thanks to a donation from the Nana Holiday Fund, Herbert will have a nice home in our living room for the next month.
• Comm Ave. has all its trees lit up with lights, which make a great spot to go running after dark. So if you stop to take pictures of the lights, and get run over by a ginger, you've been warned.
• Can I have hockey back for Christmas?  If not, can I have the opportunity to tell Gary Bettman to suck it?
• Not everyone wishes others well during the Holiday Season.  Prime example, Bad Cat, who looks at the holidays as a great time to sneak out into the neighborhood and cause a giant ruckus and pick fights with much larger organisms, from neighborhood children to packs of wild dogs... 

Season Greetings 'Scheme'ings from Bad Cat!

Thank you Michael for sending along evidence of Bad Cat plotting his next attack.

To keep everyone on the top of their game this holiday season, I thought it'd be constructive to give out some feedback on everyone's performances for Thanksgiving and early holiday season, so they can improve upon their Holiday Game.
Not entirely arbitrary Holiday Grades:
Nick: D  Poor showing at the Rossi Thanksgiving get-together, although avoiding profuse bleeding in front of small children does save from a failing grade.  Failure to dress up the dog as a Pilgrim also disappoints as we have to look for improvement as the holidays continue.
Holly Viszla: C+ While your collar screams deer hunter, operation dress like a pilgrim was failure. But I saw that picture of you in a wreath, way to get in the holiday mood!
Juan: C  Solid showing being able to handle a dubious looking White Cherry Slushy and bargain hunt for $4 hats and toy helicopters  but a missed opportunity to proclaim "Sak's gonna bang Katniss" leaves room for improvement.
Laura: B+ Almost lost out on the first choice of Christmas Tree, but held strong against that old lady and Asian family eyeing your tree and brought home a winner.
Michael: A- Whether finding autumnal balloons, locating Nana's Jim Beam, playing Cards Against Humanities, or getting haircuts that "don't look like a cop", strong Thanksgiving performance all around. The addition of flannel to the wardrobe made all the difference, as the Chocolate Cake beer mix (Chocolate Stout + Raspeberry Hefewiezen) really woke up the Holiday Magic... up next Winter Warmer + Apple Cider...
B: A Here goes the intergrity of the grading scale, but as long as there is a supply of cookies in the apartment, that's an A!
Craig & Jesse: Hey As in the hebrew dradle hey.  You get half the pot, but you'll have to defeat the defending dradle champ if you want the Gimmel!
Walter: B Pro moves all around- clipping balloons to Cory, moving tractor parts, and belting out the karaoke like the best of em. Just wait til the festive outwear comes out!
Royer: A+  Royer ate too much and couldn't get up from his chair at Friendsgiving, that's a win! Boxed wine and a Fenway Christmas is a good start, but if Royer is to stay atop his holiday game, he needs an ugly sweater right away!

If you didn't get a holiday grade and want one, show off your game! (C)Hanukkah starts this weekend!