Bears, Cats, Dogs, & Holiday doings and whatnot

Hello December. Good bye outings to public places on the weekend where people aren't either crazy bargain shopping cyborgs, cattle-like herds of holiday-festive spectators, or someone #occupy-ing something.... sorry, I went to the mall this weekend and forgot that its a mad-house, but that's my fault.  But here are some other things that may or may not be my fault:

This Week in Bear News: 
The bears have aligned with Batman, so we're all screwed? (thanks Tommy for the pic)

Also, apparently (like the song "going on a bear hunt" I was taught at summer camp) the state of New Jersey actually holds a bear hunt every few years to keep the black bear population away from their competing species in the food chain, the Guido in check.  The issue here is the irrational people who have choose to protest the hunt at a bear weighing station because to them, killing bears is wrong.  The obvious solution here is the bear hunt protesters need to offer up their own children as bear food  for the winter, then the bears will be satiated for their hibernation and we don't need to hunt them (unless the bears get guns, then it'll be the Great Bear War of 1826 all over again...)


In other Bear News, the Boston Bruins have been mauling the NHL this past month.  Here's where I would break into an unrestrained and immodest description of Tim Thomas's mustache, which I will keep it to myself, for now...(coming soon: Nick's Favorite Mustaches in History) Go Bruins!


Fantasy/Drinking Game of the Week:
It's no battle shots, but over the Thanksgiving Weekend I came up with this dandy to go along with the Dog Show NBC airs on Thanksgiving Day after the parade is over.  Basically what you do is hold a draft before the show starts where everyone picks a "team" of breeds of dogs.  Each team has 6-10 dogs on it, and when the dogs show up in the broadcast you get points/drinks.  If your breed wins its group or the whole show that's even more points.  Its pretty simple but you can make up other rules to go along (Social-if the dog resembles its handler).  We DVR'ed it so we could watch at our leisure a few days later, and no, I didn't pick any winners (no thanks to the French Bulldog or Norwegian Elkhound, who left the Irish Wolfhound and Great Dane to get all my points), but watch out Westminster Dog Show, you might have a few more viewers this year!  Here's a snap shot of a part of our big board:

Nick's Movie Review(s) of the Week:

1. Cameron Crowe's documentary Pearl Jam Twenty, which was about twenty Pearl Whales... no?Nope, that's not it is it. Huh? Definitely not about whales? That makes sense, I do not recall any whales in this movie.  (Boo whale humor) Sorry, actually this was well-done documentary that was shown on the PBS about the band associated with the grunge and flannel.  Probably the most entertaining thing I've seen on PBS since I was 6.  I'm no Pearl Jam super-fan (like one of my roommates in college) but its really interesting to learn and actually see footage of the early days of the band (also when I was 6) and to see where and what they've come from.  Rating: 6 claps and 1 top-gun high five.
2. I also saw The Muppets which had a lot going on (no whales either).  Jason Segal refrained from showing his dong, the muppets actually showed up for the first time since their prime, and there were just heaps of celebrity cameos.  Ask me what the best of the movie was, and I can easily say it was the chicken-only  rendition of C-Lo's "F**k You", only in chicken clucks.  If you like the muppets or are a child who is not too school for cool, this movie is for you, otherwise its as Mark-E-Mark put it in The Departed, "Maybe, maybe not, maybe fuck yourself!" Rating: 4 claps plus a B-

Now for a new section, I'm calling: "Thank You's, You're Welcome & I'm Sorry"

• I'm sorry: stranger behind me in line at the bagel store who was not happy that I got the last sesame bagel (lock it up and just pick something else, although I would give up the bagel for a draft pick and coffee consideration?)
• Thank you: Tim Tebow for sharing your witch-magic on the football field with all of us...
• Your welcome: everyone everywhere. Since my trip to Denver during the Broncos' bye-week in October, Tebow was named the starter and is now 6-1. Coincidence? Prolly not, I did ask nicely where John Elway was so I could tell him about Tebow's miraculous powers, so yeah, I think I did this... (If other professional sports franchises are willing to fly me out, my services are available... coughIndianaPacerscough)
• I'm sorry: Optimus Prime, but I'm a Megatron guy
• Thank you (but I'm sorry I had to watch?): lesbian couple on the train during the evening commute last week who couldn't wait to get off the train to fervently make-out.  After a long day at the office, there's no better way to wind down than being trapped in an enclosed setting with a couple vigorously & aggressively trying to engulf each other's faces with their mouths.  (This goes for any couple, gay or straight, but I guess making-out on the subway next lawyers and stock traders in suits is just some people's thing? Also, remember to stretch if you're going to get after it as ardently as this couple, don't wanna pull those face muscles mid-make out session...)
• I'm sorry: crazy-eyed all white cat that wanted to play on the sidewalk at 8pm last week, but I have a policy of ignoring crazy-eyed all white cats that approach strangers while meowing alarmingly loudly when its dark and cold you might be trying to cat-murder me...
• Thank you: stupid-fucking cat (the you-tube video)!

And I will conclude with two WTF's/really?...

1. NBC, who watches the show Whitney?  I don't, I don't know anyone who admits they do, so who are these mysterious viewers?  I guess there are people who do watch, and that's alright, I don't have to like or agree with everything that everyone else likes or wastes their time doing.  But I guess I'm just bitter that Community is getting to boot to the "TV line-up bench" and Whitney still gets the "start".  At least you realized Outsourced was a piece of sh** after a few months...... but hey, you're NBC, you're allowed obligated to make terrible programming decisions.
2. BOOOOOOOOOOOOO, Madonna as Super Bowl Halftime show, BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!